How to Do Mutual Masturbation with your Partner

There’s solo pleasure, there’s partnered pleasure, and then there’s the very fun middle ground where you both take matters into your own hands. Mutual masturbation can open up a more thrilling way to connect and discover what turns each of you on. In this guide, Official TENGA UK explores how to do mutual masturbation with a partner, from trying different positions to bringing pleasure devices into the mix.

What is Mutual Masturbation (Just for the Record)?

This couple in bed seems ready to explore each other. Mutual masturbation can discover new ways to be closer to your partner

Mutual masturbation usually means masturbating at the same time as your partner, whether you are touching yourselves side by side or watching each other. Some people also use the term to describe stimulating each other at the same time.

There is no strict formula to follow. You can focus on yourselves, bring in some shared touch or switch between the two as the mood changes. As long as you are both comfortable and enjoying the experience, you are doing it right.

Getting to Know Each Other More Intimately

Eye contact reveals so much when pleasuring each other

There are a lot of magic doors that can be opened once you've started mutually masturbating with your partner. It helps your lover learn where some of the most sensitive areas are on your body. Once they know this, you can really heat up your nights (and days), perhaps making them even more intense than before.

One thing that can make mutual masturbation feel deliciously daring is just how much you are giving away. Your partner gets a front-row seat to the way you touch yourself, the spots you keep coming back to and all those little reactions you probably do not notice you make. It can feel a bit exposing at first, but with someone you trust, that vulnerability can be exactly what makes it so exciting.

They say the eyes are the window to the soul, so a little eye contact can reveal plenty about what your partner is feeling without either of you having to say a word. Instead of interrupting the moment with a running commentary, pay attention to their body language, facial expressions and the little reactions that tell you what is working. And yes, a well-timed moan can be both a pretty convincing turn-on and a clear sign that you’re doing something right.

Mutual masturbation may involve plenty of nonverbal cues, but a few well-placed words can make the experience even better. Tell your partner what feels good, ask what they are enjoying and do not be afraid to guide each other as you go. You can keep it playful, too. A whispered “right there” or “keep going” can say quite a lot without turning the moment into a full performance review.

Believe us when we say that stimulation of the genitals is only one part of having mind-blowing orgasms. The brain can be a powerful sex organ too!

Trust is key. Once you've decided to fully trust each other, there is no turning back. At that point, just let yourself go and enjoy!

Mind Blowing What? Bring on the Sex Toys!

Photo courtesy of Dainis Graveris of Sexual Alpha

We at TENGA know how much sex toys can add to the thrill and satisfaction of your mutual masturbation sessions. Our male masturbators use body-safe elastomers and carefully designed internal details to create distinctive sensations, while vibrators can introduce anything from gentle stimulation to more targeted intensity. A well-designed vibrator should also feel comfortable and reassuring in the hand and against the body, so you can focus less on the device itself and more on the pleasure it brings. And as for whether a quality toy can make things even more satisfying? We’ll happily let you test that theory for yourselves.

That also goes for the lotions you use! TENGA Lotions are specially formulated to work with TENGA products. No doubt it’s a match made in heaven for your match made in heaven!

So definitely explore TENGA's world of sex toys for solo and partnered play. We are constantly developing new and wonderful ways for men and women to elevate their passionate moments. Whether you each choose your own favourite or take turns exploring together, the right toy can give you even more ways to play, experiment, and discover what feels good.

Let's Talk Mutual Masturbation Positions

There are so many positions you can choose from when mutually masturbating

Wondering how to do mutual masturbation with a partner? A good place to start is finding a position that lets you both feel comfortable, relaxed, and close enough to enjoy the view.

From there, the possibilities are almost endless. You can lie side by side, face each other, or switch things up depending on what feels good in the moment. There may even be more positions to explore than there are TENGA CUPs, EGGs, or even FLIP Series options, but we’ll start with a few easy favourites.

Note to self: Don't forget to pick up a variety of lotions as well (yes, different types). Even if you use the same sex toy, playing with an unlimited combination of lotions creates very different and exciting sensations! Don’t take our word for it, try it out for yourself with TENGA’s Lotion variety pack.

Side-by-Side/Face to Face

Gazing into your partner's eyes while touching yourself, lying side-by-side, is more about sharing the moment you both feel. The moment of ecstasy and climax can be reflected in each other's facial expressions and eye contact, making the experience feel deeply intimate.

The 69

A good year for some, a great position for many more. You can either masturbate each other or mutually masturbate just as easily in this position. The 69 is more about the physical stimulation because of course you cannot see each other eye to eye. Nonetheless, an oldie but goodie!

Show and Tell

You've got a secret that's got to come out! And who better to share it with? You'll be facing each other, either on your knees, or perhaps straddling each other's legs, while touching yourself and coming to that most revealing moment.

The Voyeur

All the world's a stage, but this one is reserved for your one and only! One partner watches while the other pleases themself (or the other pleasures themself while watching, this works, too). Pay close attention to what turns them on, where and how slow or fast they like it. Take copious notes so you can satisfy them more in the near future!

The Lap Dance

This might also be called the cowgirl position, if it were actual intercourse. Your partner sits on top (on your lap), with legs straddled while you both perform mutual masturbation. You get a little of both worlds, a slight view of each other masturbating and eye contact. You can also hug and kiss each other at the end.

Again, these are just a few mutual masturbation positions to help get you and your partner started. Have fun continuing to discover new ones each time.

Experiment and Have Fun!

However you choose to mutually masturbate, make it fun and stimulating!

So there you have it! We hope we have given you a good place to start on your newfound journey to mutual masturbation.

Also please note that mutual masturbation can be enjoyed by the same sex, opposite sex, or any gender. The important thing about the act of mutual masturbation for many is the connection you strengthen with your loving partner. Don’t worry, just enjoy!

Once you have established that connection with someone else, you may be able to take it further into a variety of directions. Say, for example, your partner needs to be away from you, a long distance session over the phone with each other can have so much more emotion and meaning once you know each other's hot spots.

The sky’s the limit, so don’t hesitate to try new things and explore each other, you might find there are fewer limits than you thought! Just remember to keep it safe.

Ready to bring something new into the mix? Explore our collection online and find a device to add to your next shared session.